Thoughts on "spiritual maturity"
I know that everyone else is probably onto Section 2 in the book - but there are some things I guess I've got stuck in my craw from the first section, which I wanted to throw out (up?) for the rest of the group to comment on.
I feel a little at a loss, perhaps, because I'm just starting the whole "outing" business, and my self-image and my theology seem to have their respective knickers in a bind.
I've never been comfortable with a "take what you need and leave the rest" view of the Bible - primarily because it's so easy to do theological violence with it that way. But when it comes to being gay, and being Christian, it seems like such a damned inconsistency that it makes me crazy, sometimes. And it's hard to feel like I have a "mature" faith, when I sometimes swing wildly from "Yes, Jesus loves me" to "abomination" in the space of a few books. (I really wish I had completed The Church and the Homosexual before I started this study, if only because it might give me some firmer ground on which to stand, conceptually and theologically.)
I wrestle with how I can be fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). In fact, I struggle with the way that "fearfully" is translated in the sense of "filled with awe" in the NIV - I much prefer The Message version that says
I guess what I'm struggling with is the idea of GLBT "apologetics" - not "the art of saying 'I'm sorry'," but the branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines (thanks to Dictionary.com...). Being able to say (and to really feel) that my gay nature is not God-damned but God-given - and being to express that explicitly - is pretty high up on my "wish list" right now.
I'll be curious to see if anyone responds, and to hear how others of you have made this journey, and what roads or resources brought the most strength or encouragement on your own pilgrimage. If you've got your ID set up, click on "post a comment," and let us all hear from you! (If not, what are you waiting for?)
I feel a little at a loss, perhaps, because I'm just starting the whole "outing" business, and my self-image and my theology seem to have their respective knickers in a bind.
I've never been comfortable with a "take what you need and leave the rest" view of the Bible - primarily because it's so easy to do theological violence with it that way. But when it comes to being gay, and being Christian, it seems like such a damned inconsistency that it makes me crazy, sometimes. And it's hard to feel like I have a "mature" faith, when I sometimes swing wildly from "Yes, Jesus loves me" to "abomination" in the space of a few books. (I really wish I had completed The Church and the Homosexual before I started this study, if only because it might give me some firmer ground on which to stand, conceptually and theologically.)
I wrestle with how I can be fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). In fact, I struggle with the way that "fearfully" is translated in the sense of "filled with awe" in the NIV - I much prefer The Message version that says
I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration--what a creation!That always seemed to capture what I hoped the passage meant...and how I have always felt about nature in general, but not myself in particular.
I guess what I'm struggling with is the idea of GLBT "apologetics" - not "the art of saying 'I'm sorry'," but the branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines (thanks to Dictionary.com...). Being able to say (and to really feel) that my gay nature is not God-damned but God-given - and being to express that explicitly - is pretty high up on my "wish list" right now.
I'll be curious to see if anyone responds, and to hear how others of you have made this journey, and what roads or resources brought the most strength or encouragement on your own pilgrimage. If you've got your ID set up, click on "post a comment," and let us all hear from you! (If not, what are you waiting for?)
posted by Steve F. at 12:55 PM
1 Comments:
Wow...thank you, Bryan, for that incredibly passionate response. And I really appreciate the thoughts and the sermon links, Shawn. It's gonna take some time to chew thru all of that - but it's a gift from God that you were willing to share your experience, strength, and hope with me.
I have known (and have wanted to believe) what you've written for quite a while. But I'm finding it's taking a long time to make the journey from the head to the heart - probably precisely because of the long time I've spent closeted, and convinced that being gay (for me, but somehow not for others) is some kind of brokenness that needed healing. Today, I know it's a journey that's worth taking - but I just wish I was further down the road than I am....
Anybody else want to weigh in on this topic?
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